


Maized and Confused

by frostysunflowers



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fall festival fun, Field Trip, Flash Thompson Redemption, Flash gets treated nicely cos it’s what he deserves, Friendship, Gen, Happy and Rhodey to the rescue, Humor, Peter Parker is a Good Bro, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, in an actual field, spooky ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostysunflowers/pseuds/frostysunflowers
Summary: "Gotta say," Tony remarks, slowly surveying their surroundings, "when you said field trip, I didn’t think you meant a trip to an actual field.""I did tell you we were going upstate," Peter says."Plenty of places to go upstate that don’t involve standing in a field."Peter’s nose wrinkles as he laughs. "We were all talking about it on the ride up here. I was standing right next to you when Mister Harrington went over the plans this morningandI sent you a link for it last week."Tony waves a hand. "Details. Point is, we are standing in an actual field. It’s Friday afternoon and I’m on a field trip in a genuine field. Do you not see the madness of this? Afield, Parker."orTony accompanies Peter's class on a trip to a fall festival.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 69
Kudos: 431





	Maized and Confused

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ciaconnaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciaconnaa/gifts).



> This is an early birthday gift for my almost birthday twin ciaconnaa, because she is wonderful and awesome and deserves all the wholesome fall shenanigans in her life <3 plus I love her lots so that's also a thing. 
> 
> This really is just dumb silly fun, cos sometimes I think we just need it. Hardly proofread so soz for the errors. Enjoy!

  
Beneath a huge sign that reads _Hickory and Patch’s Fall Festival - The Corniest Place Ever!_ stands a rather out of place Tony Stark, complete with shades, a snazzy blazer and Peter Parker by his side. 

"Gotta say," Tony remarks, slowly surveying their surroundings, "when you said field trip, I didn’t think you meant a trip to an actual field."

"I did tell you we were going upstate," Peter says. 

"Plenty of places to go upstate that don’t involve standing in a field."

Peter’s nose wrinkles as he laughs. "We were all talking about it on the ride up here. I was standing right next to you when Mister Harrington went over the plans this morning _and_ I sent you a link for it last week." 

Tony waves a hand. "Details. Point is, we are standing in an actual field. It’s Friday afternoon and I’m on a field trip in a genuine field. Do you not see the madness of this? A _field,_ Parker."

“You offered to be a chaperone."

“A _field._ “

"Can you stop saying field?" Peter tugs his arm. "C’mon, we gotta grab a map."

They convene with the rest of the class over by the information booth. Ned quickly shuffles to Peter’s side, whispering something that makes them both snicker. 

The teacher that Tony can’t remember the name of waves a stack of papers in the air as he shouts, "Alright, listen up! Here are your maps of the area. Do NOT lose them. This place might not seem very big but the last thing anyone needs is getting lost, okay?" He starts to walk around, handing out the maps. "Please stick with your assigned group and chaperones. No running off, no sneaking off, no - "

"No having fun?" someone pipes up, earning a laugh. 

They’re sent on their way with dinky little whistles for emergencies and Tony suddenly finds himself in charge of a small gaggle of excitable teenagers. There’s Peter, his buddy Ned, Peter’s not-girlfriend Michelle who smiles shyly when Peter moves to make space for her in their little huddle, a blonde girl wearing a very orange headband and a boy with dark hair who sadly eyes the other four with something that Tony instantly clocks as jealousy. 

"Here," Tony tips the map towards the boy. "Have at it, navigator."

The boy’s mouth drops open, something of a squawk falling from his lips as he reaches out and takes it. Tony catches Peter’s gaze, lips twitching as Peter gives him a soft, knowing smile. 

" _Flash,"_ he mouths, raising his eyebrows. 

Tony mimics his expressions as the blonde girl moves to peer at the map. "Ooo, look!" she says, pointing excitedly. "There’s a petting zoo. And a pumpkin drop!"

"What’s a pumpkin drop?" Michelle asks, looking at Ned who mimes something falling and exploding on impact. "Oh," she says, then shrugs. "Awesome. What else?"

"Uh…" Flash takes a closer look at the map. "There’s a bunch of stalls over that way with food and stuff that we could...check out?" he suggests, voice growing progressively more uncertain the longer everyone continues to look at him. 

"Sounds good," Michelle says and starts walking off, leaving the others to scramble along after her. 

Peter stays back to walk beside Tony, keeping pace as they head down the dirt track.

"So that’s Flash, huh," Tony says. 

"Yeah. He’s not so bad anymore."

"Seems keen to make a good impression."

Peter nods. "He’s a big fan of yours."

"I was talking about _you_ , genius."

"Me?" 

Tony catches Flash ducking his head as Peter looks his way in surprise. "Oh," Peter says in bewilderment, then frowns up at Tony. "How do you know for sure?"

"Experience," Tony tells him, mind drifting to a cluttered dorm room where a disaster of a kid spent his first night of college studying his roommate with intent, wondering how he could make someone so nice and cool stick around long enough to become his friend. "Buy him a candy apple, that’ll break the ice."

"More like break his teeth," Peter snorts, but he looks Flash’s way again with a contemplative smile. 

They carry on strolling, passing stacks of hay bricks and elaborately dressed scarecrows, the smell of earthy pumpkin and caramel thick in the crisp afternoon air. It’s mostly college kids running the place, so there’s bunches of them walking around in costumes, helpful for the most part but Tony can spot the telltale signs of tipsiness in a few of them. He’d glimpsed at least three or four different cider stands marked on the map so it’s hardly surprising. One of the skeletons spots him, smiles giddily and throws a wave which Tony returns with a grin. 

"Hey, look," the blonde girl who Tony now knows to be Betty says excitedly. "They have Whack-A-Mole!"

Instead of a mole, it’s actually three guys in rather terrible rodent outfits poking their heads out of a series of large holes and getting thwacked with oversized inflatable hammers. Seeing the competitive intrigue light up the kids’ faces, Tony steps forward and pays the girl in the little booth that holds the hammers. He passes the weapons along and they all take position, arms held high as they wait for someone to dart out of one of the holes. 

"Gentle taps only!" one guy calls, peering up at them. 

Michelle rolls her eyes and hits him the moment the top of his head pokes out. Everybody else leaps into action, playfully jostling one another and shouting incoherently as they wait for each appearance. Tony gets a few good bops in here and there, but he’s quite content to stand back and watch the chaos. A woman with silver hair standing nearby notices him and smiles. 

"Which one’s yours?"

"Curly haired one in the nerdy hoodie," Tony says before he even thinks, though he supposes at this point it’s kinda true. 

The woman’s smile grows bigger. "It’s nice to see kids being kids, isn’t it," she says as the raucous shouting grows louder. "Not worrying about all the horrors of the world or the poison being thrown at them on social media." She gives him a pointed look. "Though I suppose you would know a lot about that too."

Tony gives a wry grin, the faint scars on his face tightening with the movement. "A little bit, yeah."

"Well," the woman pats him on the arm, "you enjoy him as much as you can. Lord knows they’re up and flown out the door before you know it."

She walks off, holding out her hand to grasp that of a little girl that runs up to her, a younger man that Tony imagines to be her son following not far behind. 

"Damn, Parker! Your reflexes are sick!"

Tony turns back, chest full of warmth as he looks at Peter laughing companionably with Flash, leaning into Ned’s side as the boy lightly shoves at him in exasperation. Michelle and Betty push in close so they’re all squished together, hammers whirling wildly in the air, the grins on their face wide. Tony can’t resist grabbing his phone to snap a picture, knowing Peter will thank him for it later. 

"Alright, kiddies," he says loudly. "You’ve more than proved your skills in clobbering innocent men in terrible costumes. Let’s go see what else there is."

They stop at the ring toss stand where Tony and Michelle go head to head to win a very terrible Black Widow plushie hanging with the other prizes. Michelle triumphs and sticks her prize into Peter’s backpack, intentionally leaving the head poking out. 

Next is the candy apple stand. 

"You’re getting one too, Mister Stark," Peter says as they wait in line. 

"Kid, if I wanted to break my teeth, I’d do it in a much more dramatic fashion."

"You don’t have to bite it," Ned says helpfully. 

"But I know a really good dentist in case you do end up breaking your teeth," Betty offers, equally helpful. 

When they reach the front, Michelle and Peter both step forward to pay, blinking awkwardly and sharing a nervous laugh. Flash wriggles between them and hands over a few dollars. "You guys are so lame," he says without a single trace of venom in his voice. He gives the apples out, almost dropping Tony’s when their hands briefly touch around the stick. 

Tony eyes the bright red sugar coating. "This is just horrendous on all kinds of levels."

"It’s really good!" Peter says, already gnawing on his treat, jaw working hard. Betty stares at him in horror while adopting a more delicate approach with her own apple, nibbling away in a manner reminiscent of a chipmunk. 

Tony ushers them along as they eat their snacks, discussing and comparing the scarecrows they’ve seen so far and rating them on their outfits until Michelle points over to a sign that reads _Haunted hayrides this way!_ with a little chalky doodle of a ghost beneath it. 

They hop onto the back of a hay covered cart and Tony slings an arm over Peter’s shoulders as they bump along, closing his eyes as the last strong rays of the afternoon sun pass pleasantly over his face. 

"I always thought he was making it up," Flash’s voice hisses quietly. "They’re really close, aren’t they?"

Ned, who Tony can’t quite see behind the gigantic mass of hay, makes a noise of agreement. "Yeah, they are," he replies, words sticky with candy apple. "Peter’s not the kinda guy to lie about stuff like that. He sucks at it."

Peter snickers and Tony chuckles softly before whispering, "Guess there’s some things even super duper DNA can’t change, huh, Pete?"

"It gave me stronger teeth," Peter whispers back, crunching a huge bite of his candy apple. "Two years ago, my braces would have made this impossible."

"You had braces," Tony coos in delight. "How adorable."

_"You_ had braces."

Tony gasps. "Who told you?"

"Rhodey," Peter grins, shoving the last hunk of apple into his mouth. "Showed me pictures."

"I’ll kill him - "

"He said it was better I see those than some of the ones on the internet."

Tony opens his mouth, pauses as he considers this, then closes it again. "Well, he’s not wrong."

"That’s gross."

"You’re gross," Tony moves his hand to push Peter’s face playfully. "Look at you, all full of sugar and fun. This can’t be allowed."

"Why not?"

"Because what’s life without a little chaos." Tony eyes Michelle mischievously. "So, Michelle. Peter keeps sending me pictures of your artwork from class. Impressive stuff. How much are you charging for commission?"

Michelle’s eyes nearly bug out of her head and Peter sinks back into the hay with a wailing groan. Flash’s head pokes up curiously. Tony meets his gaze, gives him a grin, and snorts when understanding dawns on Flash’s face and he reaches over to give Peter an awkward but commiserating pat on the shoulder. 

The cart continues to clatter along, passing more scarecrows and pumpkins with slightly more menacing carvings than the ones they’ve seen so far. 

"This isn’t very haunted," Betty pouts. "I thought we’d at least see someone dressed up as - "

Her words immediately leap into a high-pitched shriek as a pair of white sheets burst out of seemingly nowhere, shouting _woooo_ and running alongside the cart. A nearby hay bale erupts backwards and it’s Ned that screams this time as an animatronic witch bursts out, cackling wildly. 

"I feel like this would have been scarier in the dark," Michelle says dryly, smiling as Peter laughs in agreement. 

They take some pictures in the makeshift graveyard, laughing at the ridiculous puns engraved upon them. Peter especially loves the one that reads _In loving memory of Rigor Mortis - a solid fellow_ while Ned and Flash both prefer _In memory of Henry who died in a vacuum cleaner related incident - it sucked._ Tony poses ridiculously next to the one that says _AL. B. Bach_ with the word _terminated_ engraved underneath and gleefully sends the photo to Rhodey. Their travels come to a stop directly beside the petting zoo and Betty waits for nobody, leaping off the cart and racing away to coo at the adorable creatures corralled inside a large pen, a resigned Michelle following along behind her. 

"Aw, they have donkeys!" Peter says, pointing to a small stable. "C’mon, Mister Stark."

Tony follows obediently and watches Peter gently stroke the muzzle of an elderly donkey, murmuring softly to it. The donkey closes its eyes in bliss and butts its nose against Peter’s forehead, braying softly when Peter leans in, practically melting right before Tony’s eyes. 

"How can they call something like this an ass," Peter muses, terribly affronted. "They’re just so cute."

"Asses can be cute."

Peter glares at him.

"What?" Tony shrugs, leaning against the open stable door. "It’s true. My ass is adorable."

"I haaaaate you."

"You’re a liiiiar," Tony retorts. 

It’s almost dark by the time Tony manages to wrangle them all up again, the faint blush of a perfect October sunset disappearing under the sporadic glow of the orange-hazed field lights.

"Okay, pipsqueaks," Tony claps his hands. "Food next. Then we can go explode pumpkins or whatever the hell it is you’re itching to do, and then a quick stroll in the maze before hometime. So let’s hustle, time’s a-wastin’!"

He realises a split second later how frighteningly close he sounds to one of those suburban dads, like the ones in the movies who know all the names of their kid’s friends and do cookouts at the weekend wearing a lame apron. Even more frightening is how little the realisation bothers him. Plus, he has an apron - a War Machine one that he wears whenever Rhodey happens to be staying for a few days and insists Tony actually cook something instead of ordering takeout. 

There’s no chance of eating healthy today as he follows the kids to a small shack from which the scent of hotdogs and burgers pours into the air enticingly. They join another group on one of the long picnic tables and immediately dig in, devouring boxes of fries and downing cans of soda with gusto. Tony pulls a face as Peter decorates his third burger with a handful of fries, splatters them with ketchup, jams the bun back on top and crams half of it into his mouth. 

"Wha’?" he garbles, blinking at Tony as he chews, cheeks bulging like a hamster. 

"Nothing. Just wondering how much therapy I’ll need to erase _this,"_ Tony waves his hand in a circle, "from my memory."

Peter swallows with a loud gulp, then shrugs. "Didn’t work for the pancake incident."

Tony points a finger at him. "You promised you’d never bring that up again."

"Then quit harshing my mellow," Peter says, taking another huge bite. "S’not cool."

" _Harshing my mellow?"_ Tony mocks. "Your aunt has really got a lot to answer for, letting you talk like that."

"I heard you say it to Happy last week."

"Lying too!" Tony shakes his head. "It doesn’t have to be this way, kiddo. You can change."

A fry bounces off his nose and he snorts, mimicking Peter’s warm grin across the table.

"Come on," Ned says impatiently as they finish up. "I wanna explode pumpkins!"

He and Flash are the first in line, climbing up onto the wooden platform that stands a good eight or nine feet high and hurling pumpkins from it, cheering as they explode like orange bombs on impact, pieces flying everywhere like confetti. 

"C’mon, Mister Stark!"

"I have absolutely no desire to break my back today, Underoos. I’ll be fine and dandy down here."

The person minding the platform, a girl wearing a backwards cap and looking two seconds from falling asleep, pays no attention as Michelle and Peter also climb the ladder up to the platform, pumpkins tucked under their arms from the giant pile by the rickety fence that surrounds the area. Betty stays beside Tony, citing a fear of heights as her reason for remaining on the ground. She stands on her tiptoes and passes more ammunition up to the others, clapping and whistling for each pumpkin that falls and joins the mess on the ground. 

It’s fully dark by the time they make it to the corn maze, everything lit up by spotlights and the odd oversized flaming torch. A big chalkboard by the entrance reads _Get lost in the twistiest maze this side of Wonderland!_ Another one hanging from the topiary entranceway says in smaller letters _seriously, make sure you have time before starting._

"Has anyone got lost before?" Michelle asks the two guys standing either side of the entrance, waving people inside. 

The guy on the left shrugs while the other pulls a face. "Uh, we had a few last year. The dude on the watchtower fell asleep and didn’t tell anyone else that there were still people in there so uh...they kinda got left there overnight."

"Overnight?" Flash frowns dubiously. "What, these people didn’t have cell phones?"

"For some reason, there’s barely any reception within the maze."

"Damn," Flash murmurs. 

"We won’t get lost," Peter says confidently. "Right, Mister Stark?"

Tony pretends to think for a moment, then rolls his eyes and strolls forward, handing money to the guy on the right as Peter and the others scurry excitedly along behind him. Not too far inside, Tony takes a left, then another left, followed by a right, bringing them upon a small crossroads with a sign standing in the middle of the path. 

_The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?_

"Well that’s easy," Betty scoffs, moving to the front and heading left. 

A few more turns and they come upon another.

_What room do ghosts avoid?_

"Wow," Ned says, "they’re not even trying."

"I guess it is meant to be a family thing," Peter replies. "They can’t make them too hard for the kids."

"Yeah but still," Ned pouts. 

"So much for getting _maized_ and confused," Flash says, wiggling his eyebrows. "Get it?"

There’s a collective groan of exasperated laughter, which immediately cuts off as something rustles in the stalks down the path. A gust of wind suddenly whips up, swirling around their ankles. 

"Anyone ever read _Children of the Corn_?" Michelle asks over another wave of rustling.

Tony’s the only one who laughs. He looks at the others and tries to hide his grin at the wary expressions on their faces, save for Michelle who looks like she’s really fighting back a smile of her own. 

"Come on," Ned murmurs, lifting his arm a little to accommodate Betty as she slips a hand through to rest in the crook of his elbow. "I don’t wanna get eaten."

"We’re not gonna get eaten," Peter laughs. 

They make it three steps before something leaps out of the stalks, all horrible shrieking and flailing arms. Tony merely startles while everyone else, including Michelle, screams loudly and jumps away. 

Except for Flash who punches the thing straight in the face. 

A surprised yelp cuts through the yelling as the thing, a person in a blood-splattered ghost costume, stumbles back, hands reaching up to cup their face through the sheet. 

"Dude, what the _fuck_ \- "

"Oh, man." Flash groans, lifting his hands to his hair and gripping tight. "Oh man, I totally didn’t mean to do that - what should I - am I gonna get _sued_?"

Peter grabs Flash by the arm. "Not if you run," he says, taking off in a sprint, Flash stumbling behind him. "Come on!"

Ned, Betty and Michelle don’t need to be told twice and immediately race after them. 

Tony isn’t built for running without stretching anymore, and he knows he’s going to pay massively for it later, but that doesn’t stop him from laughing his head off as he jogs along in their wake. They clear the maze in five minutes and hurry through the exit, a little breathless and bouncing back and forth between exasperated giggles and half-hearted complaints. 

"I wanna go home," Flash moans, flopping face first onto the ground. 

"I wanna do it again," Michelle says. 

In the near distance comes a distinct burst of a whistle. 

Betty sags in relief. "Saved by the bell."

Ned pulls Flash to his feet and they start trudging back to the meeting point near the parking lot. Around them, an eerie yet enchanting glow has fallen upon everything, the lights casting looming shadows and families walking past in cheerfully chattering groups with children dressed in cute costumes leading the way. It seems much more magical somehow, the darkness afforded by the night bringing alive the thrill of the season. 

"Do you really think those guys were being serious when they said someone got lost in there?" Peter asks as he falls into step with Tony. 

"Maybe," Tony shrugs, then adds slowly, "why, do you want to find out?"

Peter meets his gaze, an unmistakable gleam of mischief shining in the browns of his eyes. 

Tony grins in return. "You wanna stay longer?"

"Can we?"

"Sure."

"Oh, but the bus - "

"I’ll call Happy for a ride."

"And Mister Harrington - "

"I’m listed on your school records as a guardian. I’m legally allowed to steal you."

"It’s not stealing if it’s legal, Mister Stark."

Tony’s response is to throw his head back in a manic and diabolical laugh, grabbing Peter by the shoulders and giving him a playful shake. "Come, child," he says in an exaggerated accent, "let us get our spook on."

Mister Harrington is far too flustered over organising everybody else, too worried about losing another student on a trip again if he’s distracted mumblings are anything to go by, and he waves Tony and Peter off almost gladly, clearly thankful he has one less student to think about. 

"Catch you guys later," Peter says, he and Ned going through the motions of their signature handshake. Tony’s seen it enough times now to know the moves far too well. "Watch out for rogue scarecrows on the way home."

"Don’t even joke," Betty shudders. 

"I’ll message you later," Michelle says as they share a little wave goodbye. "You know, to make sure you didn’t actually manage to get lost in that maze."

"Oh," Peter says, doing a terrible job of hiding his smile, teeth peeking out brightly from behind his lips. "Y-yeah, sure, okay."

Flash waits until the others are out of earshot enough to step closer to Peter and say, "Uh, thanks for the save back there, Pa - _Peter."_

Peter shakes his head. "It’s cool."

Clearly on a roll, Flash carries on. "All that stuff before, y’know, before we all got dusted - "

"Seriously, dude, it’s cool."

Flash blinks, the sincerity of Peter’s response clearly throwing him, like it’s too nice for him to understand, Then he grins, a small thing, but very real. "Cool. I’ll see you at school on Monday?"

"Yeah, totally."

"Hey, kid," Tony chimes in. "Weren’t you thinking of inviting your pals up to the cabin this weekend for a movie night?"

"I was?"

What’s that one you were talking about watching," Tony makes a show of clicking his fingers, "the one with DiCaprio and the guy that looks like Bruce on that creepy island."

Peter frowns, clearly not getting it. "Uh, Mister Stark - "

"Anyway," Tony nods at Flash, "there’s always room for another, the more the merrier, all that jazz."

Flash makes a series of incoherent noises, looking for all the world like he’s won the lottery. He looks at Peter. "Is he serious?"

Peter smirks. "He’s got a popcorn machine and a brand new super surround sound system too."

"Oh. Wow." Flash looks between them both a few times, dumbstruck, then nods. "Okay, okay, I’ll be there." He gives an awkward waggle of his fingers then heads for the bus, glancing back a few times until he climbs aboard. 

Tony waits until he sees Flash sit down beside a shadow that looks like Ned before prodding Peter into motion, earning a soft smack on his arm for his troubles. "Hey, no violence."

"You deserve it for acting like a dad setting up his kid on a playdate."

"Like a - how dare you," Tony splutters. "I was trying to be nice!"

"It’s not like I _wasn’t_ gonna ask him to hang out."

"Then what’s the problem? It’ll be fun, you gain another friend, he gets to know what it’s like to have people actually like him, I get to reclaim some of my own kitchen space back from your ridiculous amount of snacks, everybody wins."

Peter rolls his eyes. "Okay, at least half off that stuff is yours and you know it. I know you and Rhodey pig out every other Thursday together."

"Can we talk about the fact that he’s finally progressed to Rhodey but I still get called Mister Stark? I should be above him in this chain of name switching."

"You’ve called me by my name like six times in total since we met."

"You’re exaggerating," Tony sniffs, looking away. "It’s at least seven."

Peter laughs, knocking into Tony’s side. "C’mon, let’s get another candy apple."

"Another? Fine but when May unleashes hell after finding out about all those delightful cavities you’ve got, you’re on your own, kid."

* * *

There’s a cold touch to the air, swirled into the darkness that paints the night. The place is deserted, the ground trodden in with strands of hay and heavy footprints, scarecrows and pumpkin faces peeking out within the shadows, a few discarded paper cups and candy apples the only sign of anyone having been here recently. 

Happy casts a scowl at his surroundings, moving to where Rhodey stands at the entrance of a maze. Taking a glance down the dark path leading inside, he huffs loudly in displeasure. 

"I’m not going in there."

Rhodey says nothing, focusing on flicking the beam of his torch back and forth across the path. Something rustles loudly over to the left. 

"Nope. Absolutely not."

"Come on, man." Rhodey turns and squints at Happy. "Tough it up. You used to regularly punch people for a living."

"I _still_ punch people for a living."

"Then you should be fine if anything leaps out at us in the dark."

Happy’s already present frown morphs into a thoroughly impressed glare. "This is why I hate spending more than two hours with you. Your Tony starts to show."

"My Tony," Rhodey snorts. "Everything he knows, he learnt from me. I’m just more subtle about it than he is." He waves the torch again, lifting it to aim in the direction of what looks like a watchtower standing on the far side of the maze. "Guess the jackass on watch didn’t do his job properly if he didn’t notice Tony Stark still walking around in a maze near closing time."

"Are we even sure he’s in there?" Happy says. "I wouldn’t put it past him and the kid to play a prank like this."

A rush of wind whirls around them just as another rustle comes from somewhere within the crops. 

"I don’t think that’s what’s going on here, man," Rhodey murmurs, straightening his back. "Tony called you for a ride ages ago and there’s no sign of them. How long has this place been closed?"

"A while by the looks of it."

Rhodey sighs. "C’mon, Hap."

The torch beam sways gently back and forth with Rhodey’s steps, picking up faint traces of different tracks on the ground and the odd husk of corn poking out from between the stalks. Happy follows just behind him, shoulders hunched and eyes staring directly at the back of Rhodey’s head, unwilling to look anywhere else. 

Soon, they come across a riddle in the middle of a crossroads. 

_"The person who built it sold it. The person who bought it never used it. The person who used it never saw it. What is it?_ " Rhodey reads quietly. "You said Tony told you they were gonna try to get lost on purpose?"

"Yeah. The kid said something about getting a proper maze experience."

"Dumbasses," Rhodey says and heads in the wrong direction.

"Hold on. If they’re lost in here, us going in the same direction will put us in the exact same position."

"Did you bring your breadcrumbs?"

Happy shoves Rhodey in the shoulder. "You know, I left them in the car, along with my sanity and self-respect, clearly."

"We’re not gonna get lost. TONY! PETER!"

"Are you crazy?" Happy hisses. "What are you doing?"

Rhodey turns the torch on him. "What? 

"The _shouting._ You’re a military man, what - don’t you know the importance of stealth?"

Rhodey laughs. "Stealth?"

Happy squints at him. "Okay, I know you’ve seen the movie with the aliens hiding in the cornfield."

"Wow, and you say my Tony is showing? Well, your Peter is showing, man.

"You take that back."

"Hap, I know this is a little creepy but - "

Somewhere to their right, the crops rasp loudly. Happy curses and throws his fists up instinctively while Rhodey whips the torch round, the beam skimming across the stalks.

Then the shrill pierce of a whistle being blown echoes down the path. 

"That’s - that’s gotta be them, right?"

"Come on," Rhodey says, moving with much more speed than before. 

The whistle sounds again, long and high-pitched, followed by another shorter burst. 

"Tony! Peter!"

They turn a few more corners, barely glancing at the riddles as they hurry past, the rustling seeming to keep pace beside them. Another sharp right and then something flies out of the crops, colliding directly with Happy and knocking him to the ground. He immediately tries to fight back, desperately pushing against the thing shoving against his chest. Rhodey’s feet skid in the dirt by his head and the torch beam bounces off his face, then onto the thing on top of him. 

"What - _Tony?_ "

Tony’s eyes blink dazedly in the light for a moment, then he groans in relief. "About time you got here, Hap."

"The hell are you doing? And where’s Peter?"

"Honeybear?" Tony asks, accepting the hand being offered to him. "Why are you here?"

"Figured Happy could use some back up."

On the ground, Happy scowls up at both of them. "I’m quitting. Right now."

Tony shakes his head. "You can’t. Morgan would destroy the world." 

"Morgan wouldn’t drag me out into a maze after getting lost on purpose."

"Give it a few years," Rhodey says with a snort, reaching down to pull Happy up as he asks Tony, "Where’s Peter?"

"Round the next corner if he knows what’s good for him."

"You guys got seperated?"

"The kid took off in pursuit of what he believed was a bat, though I’m convinced it was just a big moth, and I’ve been trying to find him since."

"A bat?"

"I don’t think he’s seen one in real life before. You know how it is with these city kids, anything other than a pigeon or an alley cat is like seeing a unicorn to them."

"You’re both the biggest pair of dumbasses, you know that?" Rhodey says. 

"Who’s a dumbass?" a new voice chirps, causing the three men to yell. "Whoa! It’s only me!"

"Kid," Tony growls, yanking Peter into a brief hug. "You’re so grounded."

"For what?" Peter squawks. "It’s not my fault you got even more lost."

"I got lost trying to find _you_."

Happy groans loudly. "Can we wrap this up and get outta here?"

Guided by Rhodey’s torch and the small light from Tony’s phone, the four of them make their way back down the path, the deep impression left behind by Happy and Rhodey’s shoes serving as enough of a trail. 

"I can’t believe you two managed to spend that long trying to find each other," Rhodey scoffs. "The whistle should have made the job easy for you."

"What whistle?" Tony asks. 

"The whistle Peter was blowing," Rhodey explains. "We followed it and that’s how we bumped into you."

"I wasn’t blowing a whistle," Peter says, confusion clear in his voice. "I thought that was you, Mister Stark?"

The light shines on Tony as he stops and looks down at his jacket, patting at the left lapel. "Mine’s gone. Must have fallen off somewhere."

"Right," Happy barks. "Move, now."

"Wait!" Peter says quickly. "What if somebody else got left behind? Maybe they’re using their whistle or found yours and need help."

"Everyone made it on the bus, kid."

"Okay, so maybe it’s somebody else - " Peter pauses, lifting a hand to grip the back of his neck.

Behind them on the path comes the unmistakable blow of the whistle, jittering in the air like a childish laugh. 

"Yep, we’re outta here," Happy says, seizing Tony by the arm and Peter by the collar to drag them along with Rhodey taking the lead. "Nobody is ever allowed in one of these again."

There’s no argument, just the sound of their feet on the path and the whistle blowing almost tauntingly in their wake. 

"No more field trips, Mister Stark," Peter says when they’re safely bundled in the car and on the road, the night rushing past the windows and Rhodey telling Happy to slow down. "Especially in actual fields."

"Couldn’t agree more, kid,’’ Tony sighs, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. "Couldn’t agree more."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and kind comments always appreciated :)


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